I found some old poems and other stuff I had written in high school. I thought I would share them with everyone._________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Reaching for the light of hope.
The hope of something that would come for me.
To love me and understand me.
I keep reaching to touch something that will never be mine.
What is the reason why...
Why should we live?
Why should we live when everything we do is wrong.
When nothing is good enough.
Why should we love?
Why should we love when all we are going to feel is heart break.
When everything is said and done.
We will be left alone.
Scared to love again.
What is the reason why...?
As I lay here thinking
Thinking about all the sad things in my life...
I reach for something...
Something that will protect me from all the heart break that is coming.
I find no one.
I find nothing
To protect me.
I keep reaching
But no one comes.
I lay there waiting
For something... Someone.
Running towards something.
Not knowing what it is.
Hoping thats it not nothing.
Reaching for what is.
As the sun goes down,
I still keep running.
Searching for something,
Hoping that its near.
As I get to the end,
All in darkness,
I still keeping searching,
For something that is not there.
Feeling the rip of my heart_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
as you tell me you hate me.
Knowing that this is the second time you hurt me.
But even though, I still seem to love you, with all the peices you have ripped apart.
I keep thinking its true,
even though I know its not.
I keep waiting for you to come back.
Saying I love you
And then say not.
To see me in pain and tears.
Does it give you pleasure?
Or do you not even seem to care?
To see me arching in pain
as you laugh and say its over.
Well I tell you I have had enough.
I though you were different
but I guess not.
Reaching for an anchore to hold me in numbness
To surrender and beg for forgivness.
I say "I'm sorry but please no more hurtfulness!"
Crying tears of red_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
for something I cannot have
watching as it disappears into the darkness.
As the pain in my heart starts to come
feeling as if I am losing everything
Watching it say goodbye for the very last time
wanting it to say something to stop it from leaving
only to collapse to dust
Not being able to move
from this lonely spot
Wanting to disappear forever
never to feel this pain and loneliness again
but instead I just stay and wait for the love
to come back and save me from this hell.
-Standing Here Waiting_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
In the bright sunlight
waiting for someone to reach out and say
"im here with you till the end of our days"
but I am still standing here waiting in the dark of the night
Hoping to escape this sad and lonely life.
for something to come
here in the rain
for etirnity to come.
I sit here waiting,
in my corset and gown,
for you to come and save me
from this darknes I have grown.
Alone And Waiting.
Alone and Looking At the Sea,
Waiting to see Whats to come of Me
Searching in the sky, along the lines,
Of What I am Suppose to find.
Needing to Understand Why.
Wanting all Of my feelings to Wash Away
My feelings of Love,
My feelings Of Caring,
My feelings Of everything To Disappear
So I can forget forever.
As I run My hands through the sand,
I feel the warmth of the sand at first,
but as I get deeper It starts to get colder,
I start to remember again,
What he had done to me.
How sweet he was at first.
But as we got closer he became colder
And with all his cold heart
He broke my loving one.
Trying to hold on as my heart drowns into the ocean,
Wanting my feelings to drown too.